Our newborn is gone

:*{

Dear Baby Fi,

You are now 3 months old and officially an infant.

I don't want an infant, I want my 8lb 5oz tiny, squishy baby back. You are already 14lbs! And it feels like time is just zooming along (especially now that I'm back at work). You refuse to sleep at daycare because they can't swaddle you, so when dad & I take you out for lunch, you fall asleep in my arms. It's the best feeling ever. When we get you home, you fall asleep quickly and stay asleep until we wake you the next morning to eat. Most parents would love this, but I miss spending time with you while you're awake. So, I hold you in my arms while you sleep until it's time for me to go to bed. I can't help but feel jealous of the women at daycare and how they get to spend all day with you awake.
This last month has brought a lot of changes for you, aside from daycare:
You love to stand. If I try to cradle hold you if you're not sleeping or eating, you get pissed; you want to stand and look at the world.

You're so smiley & giggly, it makes me laugh when you wake up from a nap with Ducky in your mouth and a huge smile on your face. Of course when I try to capture this on film, you furrow your brow at the camera. I imagine you're wondering "WTF is that black box and where did my mom go?"

You love to talk and you babble away almost the entire time you're awake. You're especially talkative as I'm rocking you right before you fall asleep. I told dad you must be telling me about your day.

(Sorry, I can't figure out how to rotate it)

You love to move and kick your legs. I know if they aren't moving, you're asleep. I've nicknamed you cricket; you have this habit of rubbing your legs together and I'm waiting for them to start chirping. Dad thinks you're going to be a track star but I bet you're going to be a swimmer like your mom (especially since you seem to love the water).

You're just so darn cute (I wish I could take credit for this, but you are a spitting image of your dad). Of course we've always thought so, but people comment all the time about what an adorable little girl you are. I can't wait to watch you grow into a beautiful young lady.

You're so chill. It's one of the first things people comment when they meet you (aside from your cuteness). You love to watch what's going on and just take it all in. I watch you observing and the wonderment in your eyes and I wish I could get into your head just from a minute, to know what you're thinking about everything going on around you. And then I think how amazing it's going to be to take you to Disney World, Sea World, the American Girl store, etc. and see the excitement in your eyes.

And finally, I want you to know that you were so worth it. If you've read the blog, you know I complained quite a bit but I would do it all again. I would do it all over again a thousand times. The morning sickness, the aching back, the stretching belly skin, the 25 hours of labor pains, the "ring of fire," the chewed up nipples (sorry for the visual), the sleepless nights. Anneliese, I love you more than you will ever know (well, until you have your own baby).

Love,

Your mama