I'm nearing the end of my maternity leave (and my nearing, I mean I go back to work tomorrow) & I can't think of anything I want to do less than leave Fi. It's quite a change, considering no less than 6 weeks ago I was dying to get back to work & be out the of the house, talking to other adults. Not to mention, I never even contemplated being a stay-at-home mom. We're so lucky she will be able to come to the day care at the church where I work; I can stop by and see her for lunch or just run down the hall & peek in to get a baby fix, but I would be lying if I didn't cry every time I think of leaving her. I just can't fathom that this baby that grew inside me for 10 months and has basically been with me 24/7 for the last 3 months will be with someone else all day from this day forward.
Logically I know we need my income to pay for things, but it absolutely kills me to think that someone else will now know all my baby's quirks. What makes her smile & giggle, what scares her, her favorite toys. Someone else is going to experience all of her "firsts" first. She's growing so quickly, these baby days will be over before I know it and I can never get them back and my biggest fear is that I'm going to look back and regret having to send her to daycare.
I knew we should have moved to Canada, at least I would have another 9 months with her.
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