Before & After

I've told papa Rob this weekend that I feel like our lives our now categorized into "Before Fi" and "After Fi." Things we did, places we went, movies we saw. All attached with a label.

Before Fi

• I got bored

After Fi

• Boredom? What is that? I don't have time to do the stuff I have to do (bottle washing, laundry), much less stuff I want to do (sleeping, reading, sleeping. That's not a typo, I meant to put that in twice, that's how much I love sleep.)

Before Fi

• I cried at SPCA commercials

After Fi

• I cry at SPCA commercials, Pampers commercials, while watching the news, Disney movies (OK, I may have cried watching the Lion King. Simba's dad died, that's some hardcore shit for a 10 year old to process.)

Before Fi

• I spent money on makeup, nail polish, and Target (if anyone can tell me what they buy at Target when they come out with 5 bags and $200 poorer, let me know)

After Fi

• Most of my money goes to daycare. What's left promptly gets spent on diapers, wipes, and clothes (because let's face it, Fi can rock a chubby belly & fat thighs. Mama on the otherhand, will be wearing a burkini until I have the money for a tummytuck & skin resurfacing)

Before Fi

• I read books about how to not screw up my kid

After Fi

• I have come to the conclusion that I will inevitably mess her up somehow, but she will know that whatever I do has been out of love (or my own amusement. Come on, pictures of my kid throwing up and naked on the interwebs?)

Before Fi

• I worried about dying before I saw the world. The pyramids, the house that Anne Frank lived in, the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower.

After Fi

• I pray I don't die before I see her grow up. Her first bike ride without training wheels, her preschool, high school, and college graduations, her wedding, having her own babies.

Before Fi

• If you woke me up during my 3 hour nap, I would practically bite your face off.

After Fi

• If I am able to take a 30 minute nap, I will buy you something shiny.

Before Fi

• I swore I could never be a stay at home mom. I insisted that I needed interaction with adults.

After Fi

• I want nothing more than to stay at home all day with her. Even if that meant all future conversations revolved around Elmo, Barney, or Blues Clues.

So what have I learned? A. just how selfish and self-centered I was (Rob, now is not the time to say "I could have told you that."), b. how humbling and truly life altering parenthood is.