A Parent's Worst Fear

I came to work this morning, fully intending on bitching. Complaining about the lack of sleep Fi gave us this weekend, complaining about the restructuring of my job (which started today) - the heavier work load, having to train a second person in less than 6 months how to do my current job, having to switch offices & move all my shit. And then I found out one of the youth I work with passed away.

I still feel angry. Angry at myself for worrying about small things. Angry at the doctors for not being able to save her. And angry at God, because who else do you have to blame when a 14 year old dies from cancer?

Now I'm left contemplating a parent's worst fear: the prospect of your child passing away before you. I can't imagine the grief these parents are going through, and I pray I never have to.

So tonight, I will be snuggling Fi extra tight (even when she wakes up at 3 a.m.)-once for me and once for all the mamas that are left with empty arms from babies gone too soon.