8:03 p.m.

The moment in time my life changed forever.
We went in to the hospital at 7 p.m. on Thursday to start our induction. Despite the sleeping pill they gave me, nerves (and probably the fact that the nurse kept coming in to check my vitals), kept me from getting much sleep.
Friday morning, they started amping up the induction meds (Pitocin) every 30 minutes. Around 10 a.m., I was only 2cm & already in a lot of pain but trying to hold off on asking for an epidural. The nurse kept asking if I would like something for the pain, I finally took her up on it so I could try to rest. I kept asking the nurse why women who have had children would ever do this more than once, knowing it hurt so damn bad. The doctor came to break my water, and we found out there was meconium so they where going to need to have extra doctors there to make sure Squishy didn't inhale any of it. The pain kept getting worse after my water was broken, so my next check at 3cm, I asked for the epidural. It was heaven, while it worked, but by 6 p.m. the epidural was wearing off and I was miserable. I was given a booster but it didn't seem to help and I could feel everything from the waist down (kind of defeats the purpose of the epidural!). I was so nauseous, I was shaking uncontrollably and I told the nurse it felt like I had to poop. They checked and I was 10cm! What?? Alright, I started to panic at this point. At my last check, the nurse said I should expect to progress 1cm per hour and I was not expecting to be ready to push for another 4 hours at least. I freaked out, knowing how bad this shit was going to hurt w/o the epidural and I was not ready for that. I asked if I had to push, women have given birth in toilets, couldn't I just wait until the baby slid out on it's own? Apparently that wasn't an option.
The doctor on call was preparing for a c-section at 7, but because I was so close, decided to have me push first. I won't talk about this part, because I made noises I am not proud of. And I am pretty sure I will never be invited back to the hospital's Labor & Delivery unit after terrifying the rest of the patients on the floor. At one point, Papa Rob (who had a more active role than he was anticipating) laughed (which I probably would have too if I was watching this) and I screamed at him. Pushing is exhausting and it hurt more than anything I could ever describe. I begged them to use the forceps just to yank the kid out already. Then I begged them to just perform a c-section because I just couldn't deal with the pain. The doctor kept telling me how close we were, but I felt like it was taking forever. In actuality, I only pushed for about 45 minutes but it felt like an eternity. If I could describe it, it felt like someone took a blowtorch to my crotch while trying to poop out a bowling ball. Needless to say, by the end I was screaming. Finally, at 8:03 p.m. and weighing in at 8lbs 5oz, Squishy became Anneliese Sophia Koehler.

I heard that first cry, looked at papa Rob, and felt a love that is indescribable. The love I had for this little human that grew inside me and the love I had for Rob was overwhelming.